Letting go
by Izzu
Summary: Set post series and right after The Last Goodbye. Letting go someone who was very important to you were never easy. Regardless of what everyone says that you need to.
1. Letting go

az: R&R as usual. I tend to jump from episodes to episodes. So the order of the fic coming out are not chronological. If you'd like to see the proper list, just check out my wordpress.

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Letting go

Written by Izzu alias honou-no-izumi

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_I wonder... if this was how it felt like to really be mourning. This time it felt different. Compared to last time..._

_Perhaps because this time, it was real. This time, he knew the reason why it had happen. This time..._

_It wasn't a lie._

"Ainosuke-kun?"

He glanced up towards the voice as Detective Kato gave him a concerned look.

"Ainosuke-kun? Perhaps it's better now for you to let him go."

He blinked at him numbly. Let what? Let _who _go? Kato-san only stared at him back as he looked down on towards the form lying on a stretcher before him. _Oh_.

He turned back to look at Kato and finally noticed the other people waiting behind him.

"Ainosuke? Did you hear what I'm saying just now?"

Ainosuke shook his head. No, he didn't want...

For some reason, his tears started to fall again. Without thinking, he leaned forward to cradle his brother's limp form again.

"No, don't disturb his sleep. Don't... please. Just don't... Kato-san!"

Before he realised it, he could feel someone firmly pulling him away from his brother and out of the ambulance as few others of the hospital staffs took his brother's body out.

"No. Wait!"

The person who had held him earlier released him from his grip as Ainosuke made a move towards the hospital personnel. But he was stopped again, this time by Kato-san. It was only then when he had noticed the sling on Kato's arm.

"Ainosuke-kun... there's nothing that you could do for him anymore."

The moment Kato's statement hit him fully; Ainosuke felt the grounds collapse from underneath him. Before he could fall, Sayama Hitomi caught his body as both remained crouching on the ground. Ainosuke cried again.

"Ainosuke-kun!"

"I was supposed to save him, I was supposed too... I know _niichan_ must have wished for that. So why? Why can't I save him? Why?"

"Ainosuke..."

Not even paying attention towards his surroundings, Ainosuke let out a soft sigh before everything blacked out on him.

xxx

"I hadn't expected... for things to end up like this. Really... Sakisaka, was really Ainosuke-kun's older brother? Moreover... he's behind all of the cases we've investigated all this time?"

Sayama got up on her feet as she stared at him.

"That's what I've been telling you... and that was the reason that Ainosuke had been able to have those intuitions—actually, visions—about the crimes in the past all this time. And that's why... that's why... this was very hard on Ainosuke."

Kato shook his head, still in disbelief.

"But really... I still find this hard to believe. Then again, all these times... I did used to notice how Sakisaka often exclaim how Ainosuke had amazed him. Sometimes he even said it with a very fond tone! I had always thought because he also found him to be an interesting kid. I never thought... they were actually real brothers..."

Kato suddenly frowned as he glanced towards Sayama-sensei.

"Wait... I thought Ainosuke's brother was long dead... that body before—"

"That was his assistant," Ainosuke suddenly spoke as he got up from the bed. "Brother had him killed because he had tried to steal his laptop. That was why he used the lab explosion to fake his death. That way, he can cover up the reason as to why the body's face was destroyed... making people believe that he's dead."

"Ainosuke-kun!"

Ainosuke glanced towards Kato.

"I'm okay. It's just... I really wished I could save him in time. I really wished..."

He sighed.

"_Niichan_ was correct. It was too late to regret now. It's useless to cry. I should have expected this outcome. I should have prepared for this the moment I've decided to stop him from continuing with his plan. That by doing so, I might end up really killing him."

Ainosuke started laughing uncharacteristically as this worried Kato and Sayama-sensei.

"How could he'd be so sure? That I... would really... end up killing him without any thought. I really hadn't thought of him possibly going to die this time, when I made a vow to stop him. For everyone's sakes. I really... without realising, I really had killed him."

"Ainosuke..."

Sayama sighed as she walked slowly beside him before wrapping her arm around him.

"It's not your fault. I don't think your _oniisan_ would blame you for this."

"I know..."

Still, that did not convince the tears to stop falling...


	2. Final parting

az: R&R as usual. I know I can be lame with titles.

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Final parting

Written by Izzu alias honou-no-izumi

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He knew that he could ask other people to do this for him. He knew that he could just let others do this for him conveniently.

He had done so the last time. When he had thought his brother's assistant was _him_.

But that was different.

That time was because the condition of the body was too hurtful to see. Not this time.

This time... he would prepare his brother's body himself. As his own way of saying goodbye...

Earlier he had some help from the hospital personnel to bathe and dress his brother. After that was done, he had told them to leave; because he rather continue the rest of it himself.

He started to choke at the serene yet pale appearance of his brother. Suddenly he wondered if he really could do this.

Ainosuke lifted his brother's left hand as he folded some of the fingers to form the usual sign that he missed seeing much. Yumehito had stopped showing that sign to him even when he had appeared before him as Sakisaka. Somehow, with his brother now dead in front of him; Ainosuke realised how much he missed that kind of unspoken reassurance from his brother.

"_Daijoubu,_" he muttered to himself as he strained to not let himself cry again. "Everything's gonna be all right."

"Everything should be," he said again as he placed the hand gently down again.

Ainosuke reached for a comb nearby as he started to slowly comb his brother's short hair. He smiled weakly.

"It's been a while... isn't it?" he said, to no one in particular. "Back then, niichan had always combed my hair neatly... hadn't you? Always... always, even though you might arrive late to school... you've always took the time to get me to school first. Even though sometimes, you even forget about taking care of your own appearance."

He laughed, as his voice echoed in that small room.

"You remembered... right? That time. You even buttoned your shirt wrong. You looked so silly that I couldn't help laughing at you."

"You're so silly. Even when I've entered middle school and junior high after that, you still loved to fuss over me as if I could not take care of myself. Almost all the time, you've always accompanied and waited for me at school. I've always wondered if you're just overprotective but now I know why. You're always liked to appear cool in front of me, weren't you?"

Ainosuke put down the comb as he finished with it before starting to powder his brother's pale face to return some bit of colour into his features.

He glanced towards the black suit that he had his brother wear. It was the same suit that he had worn that day, minus the few ornaments that Ainosuke had decided to keep to himself. It was as if, his brother knew that he would die on that day. Therefore, he had dressed his best for the day.

_You're a very cruel person, aren't you? Even that time, you intended for me to continue hating you for hurting my friends. You didn't even answer my last question.  
_  
But he did, Ainosuke knew. That night, indirectly... _that woman_ had told him the answer. His brother did not aim at him directly, because he couldn't. That must be why... those other nights, his brother had frequently taunt him to try killing him without remorse. Indirectly or cryptically.

His older brother... had wanted _him_ to aim at his life instead. Because he couldn't do it himself.

Ainosuke blinked away his tears as he tried to concentrate on restoring his brother's appearance while continuing to ponder about the past.

If that night he hadn't gone to see his brother, would he still be alive? Perhaps not. He might just be killed in a different way, just that he probably will not be there to witness it.

It's despair. Unlike how he had ever felt before. The more he thought about it, the more he realised that there could not be a way that his brother could have been saved. Perhaps, even if he had managed to convince his brother to give himself up; that women... probably gonna kill him anyway before he could drag her along. If she could kill Oyasan so easily despite they were in league with each other, it won't be so surprising that she would try killing his brother. Not to mention that other woman, the one whose shot was the one that eventually killed his brother.

It didn't appear that there had been a way for his brother to escape alive. Was that the reason why at that time, he had been so calm despite having a gun aimed at his head? Because he knew he would die anyway? The two women hadn't appear to even consider his presence after all. Their attentions had all been directed to his brother...

Ainosuke shook his head again. There's no use pondering about things that had already happened. Dead people would not be able to return to life no matter how hard you wished about it.

He lifted his hand as he observed his own work. He might not be a very good make-up artist but he wasn't so bad at it. Yumehito looked as if he had only been sleeping now.

Ainosuke stood back to admire his own work as he heard some knocking from outside the room.

"Are you done?" asked Kato as he entered with Sayama-sensei, though Ainosuke knew that both of them had been waiting outside for a very long time. Just that, they didn't want to disturb his time with his brother. Ainosuke shrugged.

"Yes, I'm done. My brother looked so handsome, right?"

Sayama-sensei smiled weakly at him, as she take a look at the body.

"Yeah. You really... did a great job, Ainosuke."


	3. Afterwards

az: R&R as usual. There's a need to close this chapter before I totally forget about it.

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Letting go : Afterwards

Written by Izzu alias honou-no-izumi

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The funeral ceremony as well as the wake before that; had been done very moderately. Ainosuke had not planned to make it so big; he never did the one before so big as well. And it's not like he had invited all of their remaining relatives for the ceremonies. The brothers had never been so close to them after all.

So this time, aside from himself... he was accompanied by Kato-san, Sayama-sensei and Masaki. Shimada-san was still hospitalized and Miruku-san could not attend the wake, despite she had finally regained consciousness. It had caused her distress when hearing about Oyasan as well.

Yet, he hadn't minded it. Ohuchi-san had paid them a visit during the last day of the wake, and the ceremony after that went off well. There were some other old acquaintances paying their last respects, it rather surprised him a bit. It had felt as if their old lives were just something from a separate lifetime, so it was slightly startling to have those old memories resurface again after all that had happened lately.

Surprisingly, even when he had not mentioned about it; Kato-san told him not to worry about the funeral expenses. It seemed, Miyamoto-san... who had been detained at the hospital before being sent to prison later; had told him about his brother's immense wealth. He had said, that it was the Plan D... the last plan that he had entrusted to him should he die. Right after Plan C had been executed. It was a plan that was solely intended for Ainosuke. It seemed that even before he had joined the criminal group that used to be headed by Kokusho Akira and Komukai Noriko, his brother have had some investment placed and that he had accumulated a lot of money. Not counting the amount of money acquired through his criminal acts, his brother still had a huge sum of money. And all of it had been entrusted under Ainosuke's name, he just couldn't believe it.

Just how many plans had his brother made?

xxx

He ended up finding out about it, several days later.

The police have returned his brother's laptop to him, after checking out the files inside it. It seemed Kokusho had not bothered putting back the lock on the computer, the moment she had escaped from prison. So when they had retrieved the laptop, their jobs had been made easier. They've already started cleaning up the remaining traces of his brother's criminal activities, as well as tracking his underlings' whereabouts. There was nothing much that Ainosuke could do to help, so he had spent the days afterwards in-between schooling and funeral preparation. He had to arrange for the family tombstone to be modified as well as to correct the information on his brother's death certificate.

So when he had received the laptop from the police, Ainosuke had been taken by surprise. But Kato had told him, that aside from his criminal plans; there were many other personal datas being stored in the computer. That was why it was decided that the laptop would be returned to Ainosuke.

The moment when he had opened the laptop, he was greeted with a surprise of its own. His brother's desktop was fairly neat and it was adorned with a simple picture as its wallpaper. A picture of him with his brother, taken during their birthdays two years ago.

Ainosuke felt a painful tug in his heart as he stared at the picture. Both of their smiling faces had been so sincere, so happy... how he had wished to return to those happy days. When everything had been ordinary... but he knew that it wasn't possible anymore.

He clicked open a folder where his brother had stored all of his plans. It was so elaborate, the way his brother had managed to think up every possible way of how his plan could have proceed accordingly, while allowing himself to place many hints for him to follow and pick up the trail. It seemed that his brother had intended to get him involved with his plan, even if that placed his position as his opponent. Ainosuke wondered if his brother donating his left-eye cornea had any part in his plans. He used to mention about it. That it was just an experiment to see if one act of selflessness could convince him to stop his plans. It didn't. But he doubted that was all there was. His brother had his own unique way of thinking.

Ainosuke tried his best not exclaim aloud as he read some of the plans that had been made but not executed. Plans that were not executed due to changes of plans whenever something happened that could effect the flow if his brother's plans.

Things like how should the plan proceed, had he not told Fukuchi-san the truth about the case; how some of the serial bombing plans could have been done should it not be necessary to have to kill Fukuchi-san. His brother appeared to have considered many things. He had made _a lot _of backup plans. To call him a genius seemed like an understatement by itself!

Ainosuke closed the folder as he take a look at the other things inside the computer. It seemed to be a normal computer after all, he'd find the time later to delete that folder containing all of the criminal plans The police should have got all they needed earlier so this wouldn't matter. Ainosuke stopped scrolling as he found a folder named specifically after him. He frowned.

There were several document files inside that folder, all of them encrypted. It seemed that his brother had even anticipated that anyone could have taken this computer from him, that even if they had manage to bypass his initial firewalls; they would never be able to read anything on _this_ folder. He really did not want anyone to get their hand into these files... at all cost. He wondered what was so personal about it.

He tried several combination of what password his brother could have used but none worked. He almost given up before suddenly an unexpected line of thought crossed his mind. What if the password was something only known to both of them, but seemed such a strange choice of word to be used because of the fact that it was too easily cracked? Ainosuke typed in the word as unsuspectingly, he managed to unlock the security placed on the files. He opened one of the document files as he read a very long letter addressed to him by his brother that he never intended to give him. He cried as some of the content of the letter touched him deeply, answering some of the questions left unanswered.

Ainosuke took a glance towards the rest of the documents as it revealed to be old albums from the old times, a copy of his brother's will as well as some other nostalgic mementos.

He sighed as he closed the laptop. Ainosuke turned his glance towards the old family picture that he always kept on the table.

It was hard, but he knew that he needed to learn to let go and move on. Then again, he knew that his brother would continue watching him from heaven. He should be able to continue living, even without him by his side.

Ainosuke smiled weakly. He'd better get himself checked. Miruku-san would finally be allowed to go home tomorrow, and certainly she'd like to pay her respects to both Oyasan and brother.

He shouldn't show this sad face in front of the family grave...


End file.
